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Category Archive: Letters

To the dickcake who broke my beautiful friend’s heart…

One week ago, I didn’t expect to be writing this letter to you.

An open letter to my “Summer Body”.

“I’ve made you look like Play-Doh being squished through fingers. For this, I sincerely apologise.”

An open letter to Tinder:

“You’re the little flame that never goes out – no matter how many times I delete you.”

All of the things I wish I could tell my 18-year-old self.

Sometimes I do wonder: If you met me, would you like me?

An Open Letter to Charlie Sheen.

“Do I consider you courageous, heroic or inspirational? No. Plain and simple. No. To me, Charlie Sheen is a racist woman-basher who just so happens to be HIV positive.”

An Open Letter to Kylie Jenner.

‘Kylie, I don’t judge you. In fact if I were in your position, I think I would have done the same thing.’

Hey PM, why won’t you act on marriage equality now?

Answering the question ‘Should Australia legalise same-sex marriage?’ is as simple as answering ‘Do Australians like Caramello Koalas?’

An Open Letter to Ruby Rose.

It’s no lie that I was once a big fan of yours, but Ruby, I’m really angry at you.

An Open Letter to the annoying Jerk-wads of the World.

This letter may seem harsh, but I feel it needs to be sent.

An Open letter to 20-something sleazebuckets at nightclubs:

Yes, if you’re that guy who proceeds to pull out lines like “Well well well, where are you off to then?” this one’s directed at you.